Thursday, August 15, 2013

A Good Sign

Today the husband and I took our oldest girl to see a therapist that Disability hired to check her out and see if she is worthy of disability. Sounds strange when you write it down. I learned that my poor baby is more depressed than even I realized.  She and I filled out paperwork and I noticed that she circled phrases like ‘I am unworthy’. This showed me that I have more work ahead.
I also felt a good energy from this therapist. Each room of his office had certain colored candles lit and incense burning in his office. The aroma was sage. Good sign. We both  left feeling actually energized. Jessica was actually ‘giggly’.

A good sign.

She asked me if we could pray to Grandfather; a phrase I have never heard her use but one I know she has heard.

You see, I am 1/4 Sioux but was raised on the Navajo res where my mother worked as a teacher and an advocate to bring the Navajo children home that were taken away and adopted to Caucasian families .  My siblings and I were sort-of adopted and were taught the way of these wonderful people.  It’s difficult for some to understand my upbringing when they look at my father’s Irish-Scot blood in me and think of me as ‘Native’. My siblings look like they were born and bred in the Navajo way with their dark skin and dark hair as they look like my mother but not me.

I have taught my children the way of my mother’s family which are considered, in today’s language, witches, and I’ve taught them the Navajo Way that I was brought up to believe in. It’s difficult at times.

When we pray, Grandfather and Grandmother. Jessica, being autistic, has not shown much interest in the spiritual. Her mind is so absorbed by other things that are more pressing. This is a good sign that she asked to pray to Grandfather. Strange but good.

We stopped at a local park in Wichita Falls and she and I sat under a tree and meditated together. As I chanted she talked loudly to Grandfather and she told him about her as if he was sitting next to her(he might have been) and how she didn’t want to be angry anymore and could he take this away.  We closed our eyes and meditated for a while as the cool breeze blew. Then she announced, “OK I’m ready”. She hopped up and started towards the car as if nothing had happened.

Whatever happened I do not know or think I’ll ever know. But I know it was a good sign.

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