Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Misgivings




Have you ever decided that the years have changed you? Your way of thinking? Your attitude? Even your friendships?

Entering middle age, I did exactly that. I began to question relationships; especially of a friendship with a woman that I had known for over 10 years.  When we met, we had commonalities but through the years they dissipated.

Several occasions, her depression problems evolved into anger problems. I found myself avoiding her in hope that things would change. If I had friends over when she would arrive, she had a tendency to treat my own friends horribly as if they weren't allowed to be my friends and hers in the same breath. We adopted a year old pup of hers because they were going to put him to sleep. They didn't want to take the time to find him a new home.  I was even dragged into the manager's office when she took a job with the company I worked with. They questioned me about her behavior towards other employees.

When her DIL arrived, her behavior became worse, although the DIL was perfectly pleasant person. Her stay-all-day visits became less but her attitude came and went in it's negativity and/aggressive. I tolerated it even though my husband had grown tired of the charade. I suppose age helped me from being so tolerant myself.

The thing I never said a word personally to her; just blogged that I would be cleaning house of those who,I felt, dragged me down. Then her 'blaming everyone else for her own problems' attitude came home to roost. Now she storms around me in stores and her son who attends college with my youngest, treats her by snubbing her with his nose in the air because mama has told him stories that aren't true.

I know that I was just too nice to her for too long. Maybe I should have said something years ago. I am certainly sorry that she felt the need to lie about me. I hear she is having medical problems and I say prayers for her. I even miss speaking with her DIL .  I do feel her hurt but just not enough to endure the emotional hardship of the drama that she and her family create. 

I guess aging is a good thing at times. It helps us realize what mistakes we've made in our youth. Friendships made in high school rarely survive as we get older and those do, are extremely fortunate. As age changes our bodies, our psyches make changes as well as we prepare further down the line. Relationships have to take U-turns

as well.




2 comments:

  1. Shirley ... You commented on my blog but I cannot respond because you are a no-reply blogger. If you respond to this comment, I think we can communicate. I hope to hear from you. And regarding your posting here, I once read that people either enter our lives for a season, for a reason, or forever. It is sad when you have to break off a relationship be it friend or family. I am dealing with this now. My prayers are with you.

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    Replies
    1. thank you shirlee. I don't know how to change the no-reply mode. If you know please let me know. I have never heard that saying but it sounds about right. I battled a lot of years on what to do. Through prayer and meditation, I just heard 'just let go'. So I did. I just hate the idea that she has twisted the truth to her own boys and to drag my own daughter into it as well.

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