Sunday, July 17, 2016


Times, they are a-changing. And so am I.   

But the events that have changed me began with another person.   My husband. 

Too much hard life resulted in more serious medical problems. Five years ago, Gary discovered that he had serious diabetes which was followed by a heart bypass, femoral bypass and amputations. 

Now he has had emergency heart cath and has been diagnosed with a weak heart along with the issues. It makes life more difficult yet has created changes in us all. My husband and I have accepted that he may not be with us for a long period, although he says that he is going to work towards that goal. Purchase of funeral insurance and preparing his burial plans to be in Belize was a major step. 

Change in our spiritual belief has made a huge leap for the entire family. Both daughters have become more zealous about studying the bible. Since the oldest is Autistic, it translates into a larger change. We have always been on our own family-wise, so being confronted with the ideal of losing someone in your unit, does change one.

Now our life has come one of isolation. I understand  only too well what senior citizens go through for I am physically disabled myself. Even in a group of friendly acquaintances, we can be some-what shunned because neither of us can help or participate. It's not on purpose but still.....

It's both amazing and strange when you realize that your life is 1) knowingly shortened and 2) your lifestyle is coming to an end due to tragedy or accident. Everything about you changes.  I found people around me that I had only tolerated or even opposed their lifestyles, I absolutely had to be rid of them. And fear becomes something that a person has to fight against. I try to keep positive and not let negative attitudes overtake me but it becomes difficult when you know what you are fighting AND know that G-d wants beauty before ashes.

Those who are too involved with materialistic things or are too involved in gossip or negative attitudes seem to irritate me to a high degree. I suppose that is a part of G-d preparing oneself for the future. I think people do change with a loved one who is close physically that is suffering from illness or death. 

I believe its how G-d lets you know that its time. Gather your thoughts. Have communion with the spirit. Connect.

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