Sunday, November 20, 2016

Aftermath

I finally received a call from my brother-in-law in New York and discovered my sister died of a brain aneurysm. The poor man is lost as his soulmate is gone from him. His voice cracked as he tried to use tried comments such as 'She will be ". His struggle will be harsher than most since he and my sister were building supers and it will be impossible, with his other job, to complete this job. Hence he will possibly lose his apartment. Poor thing has enough stress. But he comes from a large Catholic family so I pray he will be able persevere.

Here is another story. Lately I've done nothing but run thoughts and images through my mind. My sister was a troubled soul, who, at the end of her life, I had stopped speaking to. She suffered from mental health problems that presented itself in a type of Jeckyll and Hyde personas. Even my brother had cut her off since she caused him stress that made his cancer to worsen.

Even though I feel guilty for not trying 'lone last time' to reach out to her, I still believe I would be forced into doing the same thing. I tolerated for over 30 years her erratic behavior but ended it when she began verbally attacking my daughter. I knew she had Bipolar syndrome and constantly attempting to get her to seek help, to no avail. But one can only do so much in an long distant relationship. (I live in Texas, she in NYC.)

I sobbed a little at her passing, thinking what a waste it was; but mostly, I sat in the dark, mad at her for leaving her poor husband. I know only time can heal such things but he will have more hysterical tears before it is all said and down. And I wonder when it'll be my turn to cry as well.

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