Saturday, November 26, 2016

Cassuality of Her Own dilemma


Right before the holiday of Thanksgiving, my youngest daughter announced that she wanted to transfer colleges AND change majors. I knew that this was coming because of her displeasure not only in the community college she had been attending, which was awful and inept, but because she had come to the decisions that she just wasn't made for math and science.

She decided that she wanted to change her major to art. I cheered; my husband groaned. We always expected this from her older sister who writes, paints, draws,embroiders and quilts. But not this one.

And my husband was hoping that she would be the one to get a "respectable" job. He wanted her to learn a skill and rush out to go to work.

HOWEVER, with aspies, that is not the easiest thing to do. For those who  know about adult Autistics and Asperger Syndrome adults, getting a job is difficult at best. Aspie adults have problems with stress and not able to adjust to social norms. Most will lose about 75-80 jobs in a lifetime because they can't seem to adjust; not to the job but to the people.  And going to college in a 'abstract' type major like complex maths(like algebra) or abstract sciences such as Physics can be almost impossible.

My youngest is an visual learner and that means concrete which equals to the arts. Many people like my husband believe that an art degree is more like 'slacking'. And Alyssa did fight against the arts for a long time. I come from a family of artists, from painters, muscians, fiber arts, and even the multi media artists(ahem, that would be me) She saw an array of eccentric people through my family  and, unfortunately the types that my husband envisioned our daughter would end up becoming.

 Then that little trait that a lot of Aspies have.....she was willing to do ANY-THING to please us...aka her father. So she lied. She told us how she wanted to work in computers where it was apparent that she didn't really. The most that she would do with her computer was 1) listen to music,2 ) play brain games and write short stories...and homework. I kept warning her Dad that she was  not going to succeed in computer science. He had hoped...and hoped.

However the kid who kept saying that she didn't like art was now writing short stories, sketching in her spare time and was asking about pottery! I always thought kids bloomed a lot earlier than this(age 21) but she was always a late bloomer. I suppose she is following her own trend. Whether or not she changes her mind again, I am thankful she is following a natural lean towards her own abilities and disabilities. And may just maybe stands a chance of making it through without becoming a causality of her own dilemma.

1 comment:

  1. Isn't it fascinating to watch, as our children grow? Eventually, they find their own niches, and they are seldom what we have anticipated.
    Visiting from SWDB.
    My SW Daybook – December 2016 edition



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