Thursday, November 17, 2016

Grim Reaper Comes a Haunting

Lately I've come to the realization of death. I think this is a subject that comes to us all as we age. We slow down or become ill we suddenly are faced with out own dilemma.....how we handle death.

Like everyone else, diseases make us stand up and look death eye to eye; sometimes afraid, sometimes steely eyed but always with a certain amount of respect and dread.

Death , this time has not come skulking amongst the shadows but ever stealthily like a soldier in search of prey.

As both my husband and I struggle with the war of age, and of course death, we fight the good fight to keep it at bay. Of course as fallible humans, we think we are doing some grand gesture but we would be wrong and Death once again is crawling into the victory land without much effort.

My brother has battled a good fight with cancer since July. He still think he can will and I hope he does but time weakens us all.

Yesterday Death claimed my only sister and left a shell of my brother in law who was hysterical with fear of her passing.

Now this woman and I didn't get along. She had a battle with mental health and disassociated herself from her entire family at one time or another (mostly all of us). So much that it took a while to even bring a tear. But Death is funny that way. One minute cant think of one word to to say and the next a flooding of tears. I idolized her as a child for her charismatic way she charmed  people. Then despised her for overt nastiness  and cruelty. Death and mental health make odd bedfellows.

But as I sit and stare of the beautiful that was my sister. I am lost who she really was and know that she kept me at a distance as if she didn't want me close.

Death is not the greedy sort; he can wait you out. These days He has been encircling my husband of 25 years and attempting to squeeze his heart. Right now he cat and mouse game he is losing.  but he will have his chance, again. It's amazing what we miss out of the human condition. A person that is disliked by one is adored by another. When did  we create such mess that is our lives. In life I stayed away from my sister for her strange and aggressive waves yet I cry out in pain that in like I avoided. How strange is the creation of man and how soon will we ourselves  will be taken. Count the minutes; how little do they last.

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