Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Life is Hard/Daybook

Since my last post, events changed oh so quickly. I suppose the man upstairs was trying to give me a hint and, since I wasn't exactly catching on in my usual 'dense-too-busy-to-hear', He made it abundantly clear. 

The youngest was NOT supposed to be attending Midwestern State University.....AT ALL!
After two days of a administrative hell involving everything from advisors who refused to help her register, not being to access the online system to retrieve her financial aid to the weather!  Nothing would work the way it was supposed to; people were unusually cooperative(never a case before). Then we found out that we were going to be hit with massive fees for their 'wellness center'(actually a state of the art gym) of over $1400, another new building(had no idea what it was for) and the new health science building(another $1200 in fees). We were going to end up paying over $800 a month in loans!

Even though we were willing to pay the fees for the the loans, something just ate at me and A., apparently. Although she has anxiety issues, they had never interfered with school before. 

Before now. 

On day one, when we asked if she had money to eat on, her answer was 'yes'. She had $2.00. We had driven the hour drive back home and had no idea. She went without food or drink for about 9 hours. 

After finding out what happened, and feeding her an unusually large meal, the husband and I talked it over and decided that enough was enough. 

I was beyond stressed thinking what A would have to go through just for a single semester of college and how my youngest wasn't going to be able to make it through. All this for so she can teach small children. 
 I prayed....a lot. Well I don't think of it so much as praying but having a loud heart-to-heart. It's okay though; my family is used to my clamorous conversations with G-d, deceased mother AND father, my sister. The more people die in my family, the more they get to hear from me.

 Anyway, leave it in G-d's hands right?  Well, after ranting, I had sat down to the computer looking an nothing in particular when I accidentally hit the tab for her old community college that she had just transferred from. Just before I was going to head over to one of my usual 'sites of avoidance' as I like to call them, I caught a  glimpse of something on her school's page. 

It was advertising that their main campus was starting a new program:Associates of Arts in teaching. A brand new program that had just been opened shortly after she had transferred. As I was sitting and reading the information, my phone rang and it was a staff member from her old school, asking if A would be interested next semester....Apparently she didn't know that A had transferred. 

So Dad and I approached her with "how would you feel" questions. How would you feel about dropping out for a while. How would you feel about working for a while and returning to her old school but another campus. 

Needless to say, she was excited, relieved and thrilled to get away from the school that gave her  panic attacks only hours ago.  And what really surprised my husband and I is that in the last few days, the weather was miserable the entire time yet when we returned with A to remove her from college, the sun came out and the day was bright and cheerful. 

We were all relieved with the end result. I've been to college; several in fact and the line about starting to pay off her college loans 6 months after she left college...well that's a rather large white lie. 

Both my husband and I lost our entire tax return only two months after I graduated and my husband's portion (of the tax return) was taken and he didn't even go to college. They repeated this trend twice more as I worked on two of my other degrees. Being on disability AND having student loans is a scary proposition. 

As her relief settled down, I warned my darling daughter that eventually she would have to go to a 4-year to finish up her degree. Small hints of fear slowly appeared on her reddish apple cheeks. She said "Why do they make it so hard?"
I just gave her a slight all knowing smile of a person who has already thought those thoughts a long

while ago. 
"No baby, there is no 'they'; Life itself is hard."

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The Simple Woman's Daybook is hosted by Peggy.  Click here for the link to join in.


Jan. 29,2017

Looking out my window...
bareness; bare trees, bare soil

I am thinking..
  about the war to come



I am thankful
  to know what I need to fight for and how to get there
(former peace protester here) 



One of my favorite things
My little Jack, Lightning. We almost lost him this week but he survived once again. He is definitely one of my favorites.

I am creating
  rough draft of my first Santo

I am watching

  My husband cooking dinner; a rarity

I am wearing
  long ty- dye hippy dress with purple yoga pants

I am reading
George Orwell's 1984


I am listening
Cat Stevens
Tea for the Tillerman


I am hoping
for a peaceful democratic nation once again

I am learning
to not take things for granted.
In the kitchen
remnants of hours old coffee and the sounds of wind chimes
  husband is still cooking
Board room

Principled dissent | quote by Dan Rather | #Trumpocalypse:

Sue Linden
Shared quote
                                              And let go of past conditioning. They were wrong. You are pure love.:  
    from Nutrusta
Smrtest-photos-ever-08
The Chive

1 comment:

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